Kanaan Cluster League – Week 1

Opponent: Tyler (Dark Angels)

Mission: Purge the Alien

Deployment: Vanguard Strike:
Warlord Trait: Princeps of Deceit

Azrael

Ezekiel

10 x Tacticals w/Missile Launcher, Flamer

5 x Scouts w/4 x Sniper Rifles, Missile Launcher

5 x Deathwing Knights w/Perfidious Relic of the Unforgiven

5 x Deathwing Terminators w/Assault Cannon, 2 x Thunder Hammer/Storm Shields, Lightning Claws, Storm Bolter and Power Fist

5 x Deathwing Terminators w/Assault Cannon, 2 x Thunder Hammer/Storm Shields, Lightning Claws, Storm Bolter and Power Fist

Dreadnought w/Drop Pod

For the first game of the new league, I had my first fight against any of the 6^th edition codexes. And against the most recent of them, too! I'd flipped through Codex: Dark Angels, so I had some idea of what to expect, but you never really know an army until you fight it on the battlefield.

Building the Mako - With Pictures

It seems the rumours Faeit 212 posted were a little off, as the next White Dwarf is going to be full of Warriors of Chaos, rather than 40K flyers.  This doesn't entirely sadden me, though, as it gives me a chance to show off my own converted Tau flyer before it's swept away by Games Workshop's official release.  Or, y'know, not, if it really is all S5 guns and sub-par missiles.

I've been having some success with Blood Angels allies, particularly an assault squad and a captain with jump pack and power sword.  Of course, being a player committed to the aesthetics of his army, I couldn't just plop some bright red Marines down beside my white armoured, Stormtrooper-esque cadre.  Instead, a group of XV25s were 'upgraded' into experimental suits, armed with chain-blades mounted on one arm and cut-down burst cannons on the other.  Right approximate size, both have jump capabilities and similar armour ratings, works just fine.  And since my counts-as Blood Angels are really Tau models, it stands to reason that the Stormraven they're bringing along would have to match, right?

Hence, the Mako.

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! Wait, Yes, It Is a Plane!

According to the good people over at Faeit 212, next month's White Dwarf will see the release of a new wave of flyers.  The wave consists of kits for the Tyranid Harpy and the Dark Eldar Voidraven bomber, as well as all new flyers for Eldar and Tau Empire.  Obviously, one of these is of significantly more interest to me than the others, so let's take a look at what's rumoured.

Tau receive a flyer and data sheet for it.  Fast attack choice. Armor 11 all around. Non tau pilot. Looks like a manta ray flying backwards.  Bs 4 super sonic. S6 ap4 missiles. Off center gun heavy 6 str 5 ap 4 twin linked or single small blast Str 8 ap 2.

That's not a bad look, actually.

First, the placement is nice; Tau don't have a lot competing for the Fast Attack spot.  If this thing had gone into Heavy Support it would have forced some pretty serious tradeoffs, particularly given its loadout.  The AV is good, not great but notably better than the Barracuda, and BS4 standard is the least one should expect.  The lack of hover might be problematic, but it hasn't stopped any non-Marine flyers from being dangerous, so it's not a huge problem.  The hull looks promising, though of course without a points cost or knowledge of the types of options available (primarily, can it buy a disruption pod?) it's impossible to say whether this will be a good kit or not.

Unfortunately, even without a points cost, one thing is obvious; this flyer is going to have very little to offer as a flyer-hunter.  For codexes without flakk missiles (read, all of them but Chaos Marines and Dark Angels) the best answer to a flyer is another flyer.  Yes, there's the quad gun and the Icarus lascannon on the Aegis, but those are single guns, with limited arcs and rates of fire, vulnerable to being destroyed by enemy forces before any flyers turn up.  If you really need to deal with another army's flyers, you need one of your own.  And whatever this thing ends up getting called, it's not going to do the job.

Heavy 6 is nice, but at the end of the day a S5 gun is too weak.  Relying on glances to deal with most of the flyers in the game is not a solid option.  Worse, this leaves it incapable of threatening the two most common flyers, the Imperial Guard Valkyrie/Vendetta and the Blood Angels/Grey Knights Stormraven.  It's S8 option would work better, but of course you can't fire blasts at flyers.  Which leaves it with its missiles, and at S6 the odds are actually even worse for dealing with AV12 than trying to take on AV11 with the main gun; at least that's Heavy 6, while these are presumably one-shot weapons, like every other missile in the game.  Worse, every other flyer in the game has better weaponry than this thing, even those like the Dark Eldar with tissue paper AV10 flyers.  This means that not only will Tau flyers struggle to deal with their counterparts, but those flyers that easily shrug off S5 will be more than happy to come back at it with S7, or 8, or even 9.

Like I said, without a points cost it's impossible to say whether this thing will be useful or not.  At 50 points, it could fill a valuable ground-attack role; with a flyer's speed it's not hard to get into rear armour arcs, where S5 Heavy 6 can really ruin someone's day.  But anything more than about seventy-five points is simply not going to be cost-effective for what this thing can do, given how expensive Tau units are relative to their utility already.  The Piranha is overcosted at that level, and at least it gets a melta gun.

So.  Here's hoping either this flyer is cheap-as-free, or that the guns are a lot better than what's been reported!

Gender Stereotypes: Our Last Line of Defence, Apparently

Much as I've been enjoying it, and I most definitely have been, there's something in XCOM: Enemy Unknown that bothers me. With all the customization options, different hair styles and colours, a variety of facial hair for men, some helmets, a huge range of colour options for armour and two different styles for each suit, different faces, even alterable voices, you can't do thing one about the basic build of your soldiers. No matter what, every woman is willowy with prominent hips and bust, and every man is a tank whose head and shoulders meet almost without need of a neck. This works decently enough for male heavies and female snipers, but what about the reverse? And why are my female assault units so physically insubstantial compared to their male counterparts? It's a little thing, perhaps, but it really does nag at me, because it prevents me from fully engaging with the world the game is offering me; the stark division between the sexes pulls me out of the experience, because I'm constantly reminded that what I'm seeing is a design choice rather than a representation of human body types.

This sort of thing isn't uncommon, sadly. Sexism isn't just about who is allowed to do what, or even whose armour is armour and whose armour is a chainmail bikini. Sometimes it's about the way you design a character, the things that says about them and the limitations it imposes on them as believable agents in their fictional universe. Body type is one of the most subtle, and in genre works the most pernicious, form of sexism.

Things with actual human beings, obviously, can't suffer from this too badly. While Scarlett Johansson doesn't quite look like the apex human killing machine she portrays in The Avengers, Jeremy Renner isn't exactly a walking slab of muscle himself. No, it's mostly limited to illustrated or animated visual media; your comic books, your cartoons, your video games. Anya Stroud has almost nothing in the way of muscle definition, compared to the hulking Marcus Fenix. Nathan Drake, lean and reasonably designed as he is, looks like a bodybuilder next to the spindly Lara Croft. Mystique and Elasti-Girl appear fragile, the former in particular, while Syndrome and Mr. Incredible are beyond solid, and even the lean and lanky Frozone seriously outmasses the women. Superman, an alien whose strength is entirely based around exposure to yellow sun radiation, has muscles on his muscles, while Power Girl and Supergirl, who are usually almost as strong as he, rarely have any bulges that aren't on their chests. Heck, compare Iron Man and Rescue, or John Henry Irons and Natasha Irons' Steel suits. Powered armour suits based on the same framework and fundamentals, but the men's is bigger, more solid looking, while the women's is thinner, lighter, with a greater emphasis on replicating their sexuality. John Henry's suit has broad shoulders and a moulded metal 6-pack; Natasha's has a wasp waist, tits and a braid.

Ironically, one of the places this comes up least is in the designs for Warhammer 40K. Yes, there are no female Space Marines. But the Sisters of Battle look bigger and more solid than Guardsmen. Female Dark Eldar wyches may not wear much, but neither do their male counterparts. And Tau and Eldar female characters are all the same size and build compared to their male counterparts; Jain Zar looks just as solid as Asurmen, which is to say compared to a Space Marine, not very. 40K has more, perhaps far more, than it's fair share of problems regarding sex and gender, but surprisingly this isn't one of them.

Now, a lot of these female characters are 'strong', which is to say that they're usually capable of dealing with a problem so long as there isn't a male character around who can solve it for them. Lara Croft is a successful treasure hunter; Elasti-Girl was a respected superheroine; Power Girl is simply amazing on all fronts, or at least she was before the Nu52 reboot made her an entitled thief and ludicrously reluctant superheroine. But these are visual media, and a character is defined as much by what they look like as what they do. It's great that Wonder Woman can go toe-to-toe with Mongul, but why does she have to do it in a one-piece and high heels when Superman is just gloves and a helmet away from being covered head-to-toe? The emphasis on sexuality, on showing curves through suits of powered armour and making equally strong non-human characters wildly different sizes, colours those characters just as much as whether they can knock out a room full of ninjas or punch through a tank.

There's nothing inherently wrong with making a character sexually appealing. It's when it happens at the expense of making them look like they'd be capable of doing their jobs, or when they look out place next to people who are doing the exact same job, that it becomes an issue. Yes, men and women are built differently in general, and yes, men often have an easier time putting on muscle than women. But the only people who look like Fenix and the other male COGs are people whose job it is to look that way; bodybuilders, not soldiers. You'll get good arms from toting a rifle, no question, but you won't get slabs of meat the thickness of your female counterpart's hips. And if Batman really wanted all those muscles everywhere, he wouldn't have time to be either billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne or the brooding dark knight detective, because he'd be spending all his time in the Batcave drinking protein shakes and doing reps. And don't even get me started on what Superman could possibly be finding to lift that would give him that kind of body!

On the great spectrum of sexism, this is a relatively minor issue. At least there are female XCOM operatives and COGs and such; for all its decent showing on body type issues, 40K has the Marines, Orks, Necrons and Imperial Guard as all-male model lines, with one Tau female special character and men in the Sisters of Battle codex. But just because you're not doing as badly doesn't mean you're doing well.

So, how about it, XCOM? Can I get a willowy male sniper and a behemoth of a female heavy? Pretty please?

Helmetless Sergeants and Captains - Take Note!

Ever since their last codex over-hyped them to the point of insanity, the Ultramarines have taken a bit of a kicking from the fanbase. They're no Grey Knights, thankfully, but talk of how non-Ultramarines-descended chapters are sad because they 'can never be Ultarmarines' despite their best efforts and of how the Blood Angels 'strive to be worthy of Guilliman's legacy' doesn't exactly endear them to folks. Nobody likes a Mary Sue, which is what the last Codex: Space Marines turned the Ultramarines into. Which is shame, because in my opinion that rather goes against the most interesting aspect of that legion.

Know No Fear, by Dan Abnett, thankfully reverses course about as swiftly as possible. Yes, the Ultarmarines have a certain standing amongst the Astartes; they're the biggest legion, with the greatest number of triumphs, spread over the widest area. They conquer as swiftly as World Eaters or Space Wolves, with all the skill of the Imperial Fists and the Luna Wolves, and create compliant worlds as stable and productive as Word Bearers and Thousand Sons, but without the brutality of the former or the lengthy deployments of the latter. So, yes, the Ultarmarines are probably one of the top legions at the time, and they know it just as much as everyone else. But that certainly doesn't endear them to those legions who are considered to be inferior in some way. And it doesn't mean they can't get hurt, badly.

The Ultramarines famously played no real role in the Horus Heresy. Dispatched by the Warmaster to the Eastern Fringes, far from the fighting, and ambushed by the Word Bearers, they were basically written out of the main action. But you can't just sideline a legion the size of the pre-Heresy Ultramarines without a pretty serious fight, and Know No Fear shows us the start of that fight. The Ultramarines, assembled in all their vast strength, are set to assault a powerful ork stronghold alongside the Word Bearers. It turns out to be a trick, however, a way to assemble the majority of the Ultramarines' force in one place so the Word Bearers can cause maximum damage with their alpha strike. And it works. Good heavens, does it work!

The best thing about the Ultramarines, and the thing Ward's fawning Mary Sue-isms foolishly undermines, is that they were the everymen of the Space Marines. They weren't crazy berzerkers, or blood-drinking mutations, or flesh-hating cyborgs, or crusading knights errant. Their role in the fiction was to be the baseline for Space Marines, not as strong, not as wild, not as calculating, not as impregnably armoured or fantastically armed. They fought Behemoth and won, but lost their entire First Company. It was a monumental achievement, at a staggering cost. It's what made the Ultramarines likeable; they took their licks, fair and square, and then powered through and triumphed despite the odds. And that is what Know No Fear seems intent on reinforcing. Attacked without warning, by a force meant to be friendly, at a time when violence between Space Marines was simply unthinkable, the Ultramarines take absolutely catastrophic losses. Starships, space docks, Ultramarines, Imperial Army, Mechanicus, civilians, the Word Bearers visit indiscriminate slaughter on any and every target they can find. Abnett really sells the sheer scale of the horror, taking a bit of time here and there to rattle off the names of helpless ships being killed, one by one, in orbit, or showing small groups of disoriented Imperial Army and Ultramarines being run down and murdered. And while the Ultramarines react with the sort of stoic determination that so makes a Space Marine, even Guilliman can't just shake off the profound emotional impact of such a monumental betrayal. He and Lorgar might not have seen eye to eye on a great many things, but they're brothers, sons of the Emperor, gods amongst men creating a golden future for all humanity; for one to try and kill the other is, rightly, shocking. And it comes off that way.

Know No Fear has some really excellent action scenes. It helps that 40K's best scenes are usually of the 'desperately outnumbered', 'heroic last stand' or 'doomed but glorious' variety, which this book has no shortage of. The Ultramarines die by the truckload, but they die well, which is just what you want out of them. They should be noble, so their deaths mean something, but they should also be vulnerable so their deaths can be relatively realistic. It's a fine line, and Abnett handles it nicely.

That's not to say this book is perfect, though. Much as I like a bit of worldbuilding, it does rather take its own sweet time getting started. And while Abnett's practice of introducing a wide variety of figures in small roles, and giving them a look-in every now and then, can make for a wider world for the reader, he does go overboard in this one. There are several characters, notably a dreadnought and a high-ranking Ultramarine lord, who get several rather lengthy establishing scenes that never really result in anything. There's no real payoff for it, which is frustrating when those interludes kept interrupting the meaningful action.

Still, despite a few rough patches, Know No Fear is an excellent entry into the Horus Heresy series, and a solid return to form for the Ultramarines. Let's hope Matt Ward was watching...

It's Some Driftwood! It's a Fish! It's Superman!

With the Batman series having wrapped up, it seems it's just about time for Superman to hit the silver screen again.  Because nothing says 'we definitely have a Justice League film in the offing' like starting one key tie-in franchise while the other winds down.

I have to admit, I'm actually excited.  The first trailer, the one that was primarily bearded Clark hanging out on what appeared to be a fishing boat in the north Atlantic, bored me to tears.  The last thing I wanted out of a Superman movie was a brooding Batman Begins-style aesthetic.  Well, okay, actually the last thing I want out of a Superman movie is a toss-up between 'Lex Luthor, real estate schemer!' and all of Superman Returns.  Seriously, that movie was a trainwreck from start to finish.  Don't even get me started on how easily Lois accepted the fact that she had a kid from Superman but had no memory of ever having sex with him.

Anyway, this trailer?  This trailer looks good.  The first half is still worryingly Nolan-esque; Superman movies should be big, and bold, and for the love of everything and everyone, brightly lit and coloured!  But when the action finally gets going in the second half, it looks promising.  With the advances in special effects, there's no reason not to give Superman something he can really bruise his knuckles on, and while Superman Returns completely failed to even try, it looks like Man of Steel is willing to give us some meaningful action in a Superman story.  It may not be Darkseid or Mongul or any of the big blue boy scout's unused super-powered enemies, but at least it looks like Zod (and possibly Brainiac?) will put up a good fight.

Alright, Zack Snyder.  You've got me interested.  Now, don't blow it...

Finally Got This Written Up!

The last tournament I attended was a mandatory-Allies event, which hardly presents a problem at the specified 2000 point level. Who isn't bringing at least some sort of Allied unit along at that level? Certainly my Tau no longer venture out to seize Imperial planets or cleanse Ork and Tyranid infestations without the support of their experimental battlesuits, which just so happen to have the same statlines, points costs and weapons options as Blood Angels. Funny thing, that. And added to them this round were some Fire Warriors toting a bit of experimental gear around, Fire Warriors who just so happened to synch up perfectly well with a squad of Space Marine Scouts with a missile launcher and sniper rifles. Because unlike the shas'ar'tol, my Tau understand the worth of integrated weapon loadouts in their infantry squads.

Anyway, enough of my fluffy justifications. I took the following list:

Shas'El w/AFP, Twin-Linked Missile Pod, Hard-Wired Multi-Tracker, Hard-Wired Blacksun Filter

3 x XV8 w/2 x Plasma Rifle, 2 x Missile Pod, 2 x Multi-Tracker, Team Leader, Twin-Linked Fusion Blaster, Missile Pod, Hard-Wired Multi-Tracker

3 x XV8 w/2 x Plasma Rifle, 2 x Missile Pod, 2 x Multi-Tracker, Team Leader, Twin-Linked Fusion Blaster, Missile Pod, Hard-Wired Multi-Tracker

3 x XV8 w/3 x Twin-Linked Missile Pods, 3 x Flamer

9 x Fire Warriors

9 x Fire Warriors

9 x Fire Warriors

5 x Pathfinders w/Devilfish, Disruption Pod

2 x XV88 Battlesuit w/2 x Advanced Stabilization System, Team Leader, Hard-Wired Blacksun Filter, Hard-Wired Target Lock

2 x XV88 Battlesuit w/2 x Advanced Stabilization System, Team Leader, Hard-Wired Blacksun Filter, Hard-Wired Target Lock

Hammerhead Gunship w/Railgun, 2 x Burst Cannons, Multi-Tracker, Blacksun Filter, Disruption Pod

Blood Angels Captain w/Jump Pack, Power Sword, Plasma Pistol

6 x Assault Marines w/2 x Plasma Pistol

5 x Scouts w/Missile Launcher, 4 x Sniper Rifles, Camo Cloaks

Aegis Defence Line

It's not actually what I'd originally intended, but unfortunately I managed to forget my scratch-built Tau quad gun on the shelf at home, and had to scramble to fill in those fifty points with other little odds and ends I had on hand. And I was pleased enough with the results, though I admit I was more than a little nervous about flyers without that quad gun along. Yes, four twin-linked S7 shots aren't that impressive, but when it's the only Skyfire you're going to get in a 2000 point game, its absence leads to a certain trepidation. Still, I could hardly pop home and pick it up, what with my ride having already left and the store being a good half-hour bus ride distant from the house, one-way. So there was nothing for it, then, but to bite the bullet and get down to it.

Round 1: Andrew Swanson (Necrons/Dark Angels)

Deployment: Hammer and Anvil

Mission: The Relic

Secondaries: Slay the Warlord (got), First Blood, Divide and Conquer

Warlord Trait: Legendary Fighter

Destroyer Lord

3 x Wraiths w/Particle Whips

20 x Warriors

5 x Immortals w/Night Scythe

6 x Immortals w/Night Scythe

2 x Annihilation Barge

Belial

5 x Terminators w/3 x TH/SS, Assault Cannon

5 x Terminators w/Lightning Claws, 2 x TH/SS, Apothecary, Banner

Land Raider Crusader

Oh, Land Raiders. My ancient enemy. The store-made secondary in this game, Divide and Conquer, was good for a VP if you could destroy either the entire primary or Allied detachments. And the presence of that Land Raider, even more than Belial and the Terminators it was full of, made me more than a little certain I wasn't going to be pulling that particularly objective off.

Andrew won the roll-off, and opted to take the side of the table with a single large ruin, rather than the one with several smaller pieces. This wasn't a bad strategy for him, as it allowed him to deploy his Annihilation Barges out of LOS, protecting them from my railguns in the event that I managed to seize. He also stuck his Destroyer Lord, with Wraiths, in the ruin for cover, with his huge Warrior squad pushing up towards the edge of his deployment zone in the centre and the Land Raider, with Belial and the special Terminator squad, on the right. The Night Scythes and their units remained in reserve, of course, as did the Assault Cannon-wielding Terminators. Satisfied, he passed it over to me, and I established my beachhead. The scouts dug in to a forest a few inches in front of my Aegis line, which stretched through the middle of the board. It's a pity; Hammer and Anvil is a great 'sit at the back and shoot' mission for Tau, but to really pull this out I'd have to deploy aggressively to keep my scoring units close to the Relic. With my captain and assault squad in reserve, I spread everything else out across the board, with one of my XV88 squads hiding on top of a bastion being used as terrain. For once I managed to seize, which would turn out to do me exactly zero good.

There was really only one thing to shoot at turn one; the Land Raider. My scout's missile launcher, all four XV88s and my Hammerhead opened up on that thing, and not one of them managed to so much as glance it. I loaded one of my squads into the Devilfish and had it scoot forwards, just about on the Relic already, but dangerously close to the Warrior blob. Despite the best efforts of my non-AV14-affecting weapons, I only managed to keep a handful of Warriors down, nowhere near enough to really impede their efficiency. In his turn Andrew sent the Land Raider cruising forwards, close enough that Belial and company could pile out the front and, with some good luck on their charge range, make it clear into contact with my scouts. Unsurprisingly, my scouts proved unequal to the task of taking on a superior number of better-armed and -armoured models led by a special character, and were promptly killed to the last man. That gave Andrew First Blood, and put those Terminators worryingly close to my lines.

Turn 2, my captain and assault squad arrived promptly from reserves. While the Fire Warriors reluctantly disembarked from the Devilfish, which had shifted forwards to let them grab the Relic by coming out the back, the rest of my army lined up their shots. Again, all available weaponry railed to so much as scratch the Land Raider, and this time I couldn't even content myself by shooting at the Warriors, as most were blocked from view by my Devilfish's rather ample backside. I turned my firepower on Belial instead, but while he did fail a Look Out, Sir! and the subsequent armour save, nothing else got through. My Tau shooting was downright fantastic, however, compared to my Marines; the sergeant and captain both managed to have their plasma pistols overheat, killing the former and wounding the latter, and leaving the one functioning weapon to accomplish precisely nothing against the rear armour of an Annihilation Barge. I hadn't realized how much I took safe Tau plasma weapons for granted until I tried to use someone else's! In response, Andrew gaussed my Devilfish to death with his Warriors, killed half the Marines with the Annihilation Barges, and deep struck his second Terminator squad in behind my lines, the assault cannon ripping clean through both XV88s. Belial and his squad got hung up on terrain in the forest, leaving them well out of position to actually accomplish anything, but they were still pushing forwards to catch me in a pincer.

The rest of the game unfolded as my poor luck and terrible tactics ensured it would. Amazingly, I actually did manage to destroy the Land Raider, thanks to the XV88s in the bastion, while the rest of my army dealt with the assault cannon-bearing Terminators with relatively few losses. Belial went down in a hilariously unlucky manner; he failed exactly enough Look Out, Sir! rolls, and their subsequent armour saves, to die from the fire. Amazingly, Belial's tactical dreadnought armour provided exactly no protection. And my remaining Marines even managed to assault one of the Annihilation Barges to death (thank you, lucky Red Thirst rolls!) before sole survivor had to withdraw to protect himself. I'd rather not give up the Divide and Conquer secondary, thank you!

Unfortunately, while I was pretty handily winning the shooting war across the board, Andrew had picked his targets better. His Overlord remained out of sight pretty much the entire game, denying me the Slay the Warlord point for myself, and between his possession of that and First Blood he finally beat me out. I just couldn't get another scoring squad up to the Relic in time, though admittedly I didn't prioritize advancing after the first team to put their hands on that thing were brutally disintegrated by Warrior-toted gauss rifles. I fell an inch short of an attempt to move through difficult terrain to claim it last turn, which was annoying, but I shouldn't have let it come down to a single dice roll anyway. And my target priority was off last turn, too; I focused on killing the Warriors, who were unlikely to make it to the Relic, rather than dealing with the handful of surviving Terminators. If I'd poured everything into them, Andrew's luck that game dictated they'd likely have died, giving me the Divide and Conquer point and a draw. Oh well; this is how one learns, I suppose.

Result: 2-1 loss on secondaries, no primary points

Round 2: Tim Little (Necrons/Blood Angels

Deployment: Vanguard Strike

Mission: The Scouring

Secondaries: First Blood, Linebreaker, Battlefield Superiority

Warlord Trait: Immovable Object

Overlord w/Resurrection Orb, Staff of Light

Royal Court w/2 x Harbinger of Destruction, Eldritch Staff, Harbinger of Storm, Voltaic Staff, Lightning Field

10 x Warriors

10 x Warriors

10 x Warriors

10 x Warriors

6 x Scarabs

Monolith

Reclusiarch

8 x Death Company w/Drop Pod

Death Company Dreadnought w/Drop Pod, Blood Talons, Melta, Heavy Flamer

Furioso Dreadnought w/Drop Pod, Blood Fists, Melta, Heavy Flamer

This one was going to be nasty, I knew that much just from looking at Tim's list. Two Dreads with melta and a Reclusiarch and unit of Death Company, all in Drop Pods? I was actually less worried about the Necrons; yes, there was a Monolith, but no aircraft, no Annihiliation Barges and no Doomsday Arks, not even any of those so-troublesome Wraiths to deal with. Gun to gun, I felt pretty confident in my chances going up against a Necron shooting list. But those Blood Angels...

I won the roll-off for sides, and opted for the one with the greater amount of stuffed cluttered around it. The less room there was for those drop pods, the better. Unfortunately, there was a high-sided bridge running diagonally through the centre of the table which badly hampered my starting sightlines, and sort of made my Aegis redundant. I placed it as best I could, along with my army; the scouts hugging the edge of the bridge on the left, with one of the XV88 units beside them, then the Fire Warriors spread out through the middle to try and block deployment options, the Hammerhead and the Devilfish trying to cover each other's backsides, and the other XV88 unit on the right flank. My commander and the Deathrains hung around the middle-rear, while the Marine-suits once again went into reserve, this time along side my two Fireknife teams. I was trying to maximise early striking power and minimize early vulnerabilities, a difficult task. In response, Tim spread his Warrior squads out across the board, with his Monolith on the right and his Overlord in one of the units towards the back, and the Scarabs hanging out as far forward as they could get. Someone wanted a turn one charge opportunity. From the start I had good proximity to most of the objectives, though unfortunately it turned out the 4-point one was hanging out towards the back of Tim's deployment zone, meaning I'd have to push in there anyway. Good thing those Marines were in reserve. Now, to survive Tim's long enough for it to matter.

Unfortunately for me, Tim won the roll-off for first turn. Before I'd had a chance to fire, or generate any cover saves for my skimmers beyond their disruption pods, the two Dreadnoughts crashed into my rear area. The Death Company Dread landed with a depressingly good angle on my Hammerhead's rear armour, while the Furioso planted itself on a small ridge near my right flank. Amazingly enough, while the heavy flamers did make something of a mess out of my poor Fire Warriors, those so-scary meltas managed to fail to hit the Hammerhead, and to wound the XV88s. That could definitely have gone worse. The rest of Tim's firing amounted to little, with his movement seeing his Warriors spread out towards the objectives in mid-field and his backfield, and the Monolith rumbling towards my lines. In response, one of my XV88s exploded the Death Company dread, while the others immobilized the Furioso; given that everything had already backed out of melta/flamer range, this meant it was basically a non-issue. The rest of my army peppered the Necrons with long-range fire, but while a few went down, most of them got back up again. Most annoying.

Turn two started off poorly for me, with the Scarabs making an absurdly long charge to get into combat with my left flank XV88s. And because they were coming from around the edge of the bridge, there was even a limit to the amount of Overwatch damage I could have done. You know, assuming I hadn't whiffed every roll. While the Scarabs and the XV88s clashed, I manoeuvred my Hammerhead for a good shot on one of the Warrior squads, angled my commander and the Deathrains to set up some decent Focus Fire lines to really make the most of their AP4 weapons, and generally did my best to get nice lines of fire on everything. Unfortunately, while the commander and his accompanying squad did do some serious damage to the closest Warrior squad, my unengaged XV88s failed to put a round through the Monolith, while the Hammerhead's submunition scattered well off the mark.

Turn three saw the Death Company squad, with attached Reclusiarch, land pretty much smack-dab in the middle of my surviving Fire Warrior lines. Tim could not have gotten luckier with the scatter dice. Knowing the resilience of FNP Marines to standard arms, and having none of my plasma weapons available, I knew that was going to be a problem. The rest of Tim's turn was actually rather low-key, save for the enraging one-shot one of his Crypteks managed on my Hammerhead. I really needed that AP4 large blast weapon! In the combat phase, the XV88s, who had managed not to fail any of their saves last turn, continued to stand strong, managing to inflict a wound on the Scarabs, who of course hung into the fight. This combat would eventually conclude with the death of the Scarabs, after they'd eaten my XV88s' armour off, with the assistance of the Scout squad. By that time, however, it wouldn't matter, as they'd be locked until the last turn.

The rest of the game continued to slide sideways out of my grasp, despite a few promising demi-rallies. One of my reserve suit squads dropped within melta range of the Monolith and took care of it with a single shot, while another squad moved to deal with a particularly tenacious Warrior squad. My captain and assault squad dropped towards the back objective, but after some particularly effective Overwatch and some really lousy rolling by the captain and his power sword, they just could not take out the Warriors guarding it. The Death Company, meanwhile, wiped out pretty much every infantry unit near their initial drop point, with the assistance of their pod's weapons. I just could not deal with those guys without plasma, and all my plasma was busy trying to deal with other, objective-holding problems.

We actually ran out of time, but since I had the bottom turn Tim offered to let me do any quick last-minute contestations. A pair of gun drones flitted over to crowd up one of the objectives, but it didn't make any difference, sadly. I had the 1 and 3 objectives, but Tim had the 2 and 4 objectives sewn up neatly, his superior number of more resilient Troops units serving to tip the balance. It wasn't all one-sided, though, as I did get First Blood and Linebreaker, serving to save me from the pity-points of 'lost' and 'played the game'. You take your victories where you can, sometimes.

Result: 6-4 loss on primaries, 2-1 secondaries in my favour

Round 3: Micheal Plowman (Dark Angels/Blood Angels)

Deployment: Dawn of War

Mission: Purge the Alien

Secondaries: First Blood, Linebreaker, Cut off the Head

Warlord Trait: Legendary Fighter

Ezekiel

10 x Tacticals w/Plasma Gun, Plasma Cannon, Power Sword

10 x Tacticals w/Plasma Gun, Plasma Cannon, Power Sword

10 x Scouts w/Missile Launcher, 9 x Sniper Rifles

Predator w/Autocannon, 2 x Lascannons, Dozer Blade

Aegis w/Quad Gun

Mephiston

8 x Death Company w/Land Raider, Twin-Linked Lascannon sponsons

Chaplain

Stormraven w/4 x Bloodstrike Missiles, Twin-Linked Lascannon, Twin-Linked Multimelta

The amount of plasma and missile launchers, not to mention yet another Land Raider, really had me worried going into this game. Thankfully, Dawn of War ameliorates those worries somewhat; there's not a lot you can do when you just deploy in a line across from each other, with plenty of room to spread out for best angles. I deployed first, holding my captain and assault squad in reserve as usual, with everything else going down behind terrain, or at least another squad or unit behind terrain. Michael followed suit, spreading out in a gun line opposite mine, a particularly welcome sight; gunline to gunline, Tau usually have an edge over Marines. They just don't have the specialized long-range firepower that Tau armies fear. I won the roll-off for first turn, and proceeded to set the tone.

This game was pretty much a slaughter, start to finish. Michael had deployed with too much of his army within range of my force, which admittedly is hard not to do when you're talking about Tau, and turn one my shooting just ripped through him. He never really recovered from that rather withering fusillade of firepower, particularly when I managed to wreck his Land Raider halfway across the table, stranding his Death Company in no man's land. Caught between a flanking squad of Fireknives and a Fire Warrior team on that side of my lines, they were simply slaughtered without causing a single casualty. The main force of my army, meanwhile, continued to hammer away at Micheal's army, cutting Marine after Marine down in a hail of pulse fire. When my assault squad and captain dropped near to his lines, but safely out of line of sight of anything first turn, they just added to my advantage, cutting down a squad of tactical marines hiding in a building which meant the entire right half of the table was now under my control. The only real threat emerged on turn four, when Mephiston arrived in the Storm Raven. Shot out of the air, he landed right in front of my lines, and proceeded to make a mess out of a unit of Fire Warriors and one of my XV88s. Honestly, he was a beast, and if he'd made it into the fight even a turn or two earlier, he might have presented a serious challenge. As it was, though, time was called after just a single turn with him on the board, while the Marine gunline was down to a handful of Marines and Ezekiel.

In addition to the primary, I picked up First Blood and Linebreaker, though Mephiston's toughness meant I couldn't claim Cut Off the Head. Still, a pretty nice way to end a day that, otherwise, had been maddeningly full of 'close but no cigar' moments. Sometimes it's nice just to mop the floor with someone, y'know?

Results: 7-2 win on primaries, 2-0 on secondaries

Overall Results: 6^th of 12

The Real Alternative to Yellow Spandex

I want to talk about Chronicle, because I finally got around to watching it, and I really enjoyed it, and contrary to my last couple of reviews I do actually like talking about things I enjoy. But first, I want to talk about whether I should be talking about Chronicle, here.

For those who don't know, Chronicle is about three teenagers who find a thing in a cave that grants them telekinetic powers. My first instinct was to classify it as action sci-fi. And I'm not alone in that; the Lovely Madam Meagan did the same after we watched it, and the first seven words in its Wikipedia entry are "Chronicle is a 2012 science fiction film'. But then I stopped and tried to think about why Chronicle is a science fiction film, and I realized I couldn't come up with a single thing. The thing the boys encounter isn't obviously technological. Their abilities are as likely the result of some bizarre natural radiation producing a mutation. Or, heck, magic. The thing is never studied, at least not by the boys, and their abilities are never explained as being some previously-untapped ability all humans possess. There are no aliens, no lasers or force-fields, no super soldiers, no robots or battle armour. Nothing in this film is particularly science fiction-y. Frankly, it's more fantasy than anything else, albeit a rather dark sort. But because it doesn't involve wizards or vampires or werewolves, nobody seems to think of it that way.

Science fiction, it seems, now constitutes anything fantastical that isn't explicitly magical or supernatural. Which is weird, because it means the genre picks up things like Chronicle and Hancock, good films that don't actually have anything to do with where they wind up. Are superhero movies just science fiction by default, now?

Still, if we're going to wind up with movies arbitrarily crammed into the science fiction genre, it's nice when they're as good as Chronicle. The movie follows three high school boys, Andrew, Matt and Steve. Andrew is the son of an abusive father and a dying mother, and his purchase of a hilariously oversized portable camera starts the film. Dragged out to a party by his cousin Matt, Andrew is spotted by Steve, the school's resident cool kid who, surprisingly, is just a really nice guy. Rather than bullying or insulting Andrew, Steve actually wants a favour; can Andrew come record this amazing thing he and Matt have found with his omnipresent camera? The thing, frankly, defies description, and not just because whatever energy it's putting out is interfering with the camera. It looks star-shaped, some form of glowing crystal half-obscured by rock, and demonstrates some rather impressively strange properties. From their exposure to it the boys discover they've gained telekinesis, a power that's roughly equal for all of them but finds expression in ways particular to each of the three's temperaments. And unfortunately, but not unsurprisingly, the temperament of a bullied outcast with an alcoholic and abusive father and a slowly and painfully dying mother is perhaps not the best one to entrust with powerful telekinetic abilities.

Chronicle is, first and foremost, a character piece. For all its mysterious power sources and superhero-style antics, the movie is really about Andrew and Matt. Steve is a decidedly minor character, though he gets some good moments, and the movie certainly wouldn't play out the same without him. The movie's driving conflict, in the absence of supervillains or monsters, is the struggle between Andrew and Matt, between an abused and bullied kid who suddenly finds himself with more power than anyone else, and a smug and pretentious but ultimately level-headed kid who understands that they need rules and boundaries. Matt is afraid of them doing something terrible, by accident or on purpose; Andrew is tired of having the terrible things in life happen only to him. Competing outlooks based on radically different upbringings set the cousins on a collision course that is as obvious and inevitable as it is believable and tragic.

The acting is solid, probably made easier by the fact that there are only really a handful of characters in the film. The handheld style of the movie helps with viewer perception of the actors' presentations, as well; the semi-intimate feel of the well-executed affectation draws the viewer in. It's a nice touch, and it more than the lack of costumes and wise old uncles really sets this film apart from the superhero genre. Not enough to escape being reflexively labelled science fiction, of course, but still. There are some weak elements, particularly a romance subplot for Matt that just sort of peters out, but on the whole the focus is kept tight, on the increasing friction between responsible Matt and predatory Andrew.

Whether you like superhero movies or not, Chronicle is definitely worth a look. And it's done well enough that it's got a sequel in the works, something I'm looking forward to. Perhaps this time I'll even manage to make it to the theatres before it closes up its run!

Fallin' Down On the Job

Star Trek: Titan: Fallen Gods (Star Trek books do love their colons), by Micheal A. Martin, is full of interesting ideas and setup. Unfortunately, for the most part, these elements aren't fully realized and resolved. This book picks some serious topics and elides around them as hard as possible.

The story picks up not long after the previous Titan adventure, as chronicled in Star Trek: The Typhon Pact Book 2: Seize the Fire (see what I mean about colons?), and carries through several threads from the larger TNG/DS9 era expanded universe. The Federation is still trying to deal with the massive devastation and dislocation caused by the Last Borg Invasion. At the same time, it is trying to come to terms with the secession of Andor. The Andorians are desperate, in the face of a reproductive crisis that could well reach extinction levels. And the Typhon Pact, particularly the Tholians, are involved deeply with Andor. It's a solid bit of fractured setting to build a compelling narrative of conflicting aims and ends, and in that Martin does a decent job.

Captain Riker and the USS Titan have discovered a planet orbiting an immensely deadly pulsar. Shockingly, the planet appears to be inhabited, a fact made possible only by a hugely enhanced geomagnetic field to absorb and deflect the pulsar's considerable broad-band radiation output. When it appears the artificial field may have some connection to the terraforming device found, and destroyed, in Seize the Fire, Riker decides it might be worth investigating. That investigation becomes even more imperative when a maintenance AI on the planet forcibly mind-melds with Tuvok and an AI Titan picked up in Synthesis, Sentry SecondGen White-Blue; the two Titan crewmembers had attempted a similar link with the terraforming device, and the maintenance AI recognised elements of its makers' code in their minds. But with the mind-meld risky, and potentially irreversible if left to continue too long, the pulsar getting steadily more violent and the geomagnetic field on the edge of collapse, such an investigation could be dangerous. Add to that a civil war being fought by the descendants of the Ais builders on the planet, between Preservationists/Keepers and Deconstructonists/Trashers, Starfleet Command's orders that all Andorian officers be reassigned to 'less sensitive' positions, and Andor's demands that all reproductive-age Andorians be sent back to Andor and the newly-reconstituted Imperial Guard's willingness to enforce that order, and you have a pretty wild set of circumstances that would allow for an exploration of any number of issues.

Unfortunately, as I said, Fallen Gods does not fully embrace its difficult subject matter. Much time is given to establishing the alien civil war, including several chapters from the viewpoint of the Preservationist leader, but ultimately it's never really an issue for the Starfleet characters in the book. It's a thing that's happening when they reach the planet, something that inconveniences them slightly, but no more than bad weather or predatory wildlife would've. The same is true of the efforts to get the maintenance AI back to the planet and the magnetic field generators repaired. The book spends ages having characters discuss the pros and cons of going, of how to go, of when to go, and then covers them actually going. But then they just drop the maintenance AI off in a convenient console and leave, playing no role in actually resolving any of the issues. The worst-handled storyline, however, certainly belongs to the Andorian Imperial Guard's efforts to 'liberate' reproductive-age Andorians from Titan.

The book skirts around the AIG commander's plan for an unnecessarily long time, since anyone familiar with The Next Generation should quickly figure out what it consists of. Unfortunately, with all that evasion and forced mystery, there's no time left to delve into the ramifications of it, which are absolutely massive. The moral stain on the Andorians who are participating in it, the mental anguish and existential collapse of the Starfleet Andorians subjected to it, neither are given any particular weight. Indeed, the actual issue isn't directly addressed by any characters until literally the last page of the story. One can only hope, rather desperately, that the next book will actually put some work into exploring this issue on a personal and societal level, rather than faffing about with artificial mysteries that dedicated Star Trek fans (and who else would be reading a Star Trek: Titan book?) will see through in a few pages.

Fallen Gods has all the pieces necessary to be a really compelling novel. Frankly, it has all the pieces necessary to be several really compelling novels. But its refusal to actually engage with any of its topics in detail, to build up meaningful drama and suspense, to present serious threats and stakes, hampers it. The book is enjoyable enough while you're reading it, but upon putting it down don't be surprised if your first thought is a rather plaintive, 'Is that it?'

This Is Why I So Rarely Bother

I wouldn't consider myself a major comics fan, but I've been known to pick up a book or two. Empowered, Transformers, Morning Glories, Power Girl. A few others, here and there. Mostly, though, I don't get drawn into that world too deeply, because the big two so rarely put out the sorts of stories I want to read. Things look good at first, but once you actually get into it everything sort of falls apart spectacularly.

Big Hero 6 is a pretty good example of that.

Shocking, I know, but bare with me.

On the surface, it all looks solid. A kid. A robot. A girl in high-tech armour. A giant monster.  A dude with swords. What more could you ask for out of a Japanese superhero team? And the action starts off pretty well, too. The kid, Hiro, is attacked at school by a trio of supervillains. When the rest of the team arrives to rescue him and defeat the villains, it turns out they were unwitting human pawns, possessed by some mysterious force. Worse, they were just a diversion, a cover for the real criminals, men in suits and ties who slipped into a nearby bank while everyone was distracted and walked out with a mysterious and powerful artifact, one piece from a set of six. With several other pieces already missing, and a past connection between the artifacts and BH6's mysterious commander Furi, the team is dispatched to America to guard the the lab where the last of the artifacts is being studied. What is the danger these artifacts represent? Who sent those three supervillains? Why is the team called Big Hero 6 when it's only made up of five people? All these questions, and more... are never really answer.

BH6 starts off strong, with a good fight scene, some nice teamwork, establishing moments for each of the characters and their abilities, and a solid mystery hook. And then it just absolutely collapses under the weight of its own terrible plotting and a frankly baffling refusal to resolve anything. The miniseries is kind of a perfect snapshot of why I'm so frustrated by mainstream superhero comic books these days. The one thing I will say for it is that it's not hair-pullingly decompressed. In fact, this five-issue miniseries actually finishes (though not resolves, mark) its main plot early enough that it needs to bring in a secondary plot in order to fill out the space. Not that it actually has any connection to the miniseries' overall plot, other than a tenuous geographical one. But that's about it. The supervillains' origin is revealed, but that only raises more questions, on the part of both the characters and the reader. It's flat-out stated that the person orchestrating them (who never even gets a name, nevermind a real motivation or character) must be working for someone else, but who, or to what ends, is never even suggested. The artifacts are maguffins from start to finish. With absolutely no establishment Furi's false eye suddenly gains a villain-defeating ability. And the racial stereotypes, and the sexism...

Honestly, superhero comics are sort of uncomfortable to read these days if you're even the tiniest bit sensitive to things like realistic depictions of non-Americans or fair-minded depictions of women. And BH6 manages to hit just about everything. One of the team's members is Wasabi no Ginger, a sushi chef who can use Qi energy and knows martial arts and constantly wears a headband and a chef's overshirt. He also looks like he's about thirty-five, which isn't a stereotype, but makes his going undercover as a high school student particularly idiotic. And the two young women, GoGo Tomago and Honey Lemon, are just... just...

Look. They're attractive young women with power and confidence, so it's not unthinkable that they would dress in a daring manner. But there's daring, and then there's just having clothes defy physics in order to more completely and totally hyper-sexualize a teenage girl. At one point GoGo is wearing a North American school gym uniform whose shirt, in defiance of all the memories frustrated teenage boys have of those years, the behaviour of fabric under tension and the possibilities of cutting-edge bra technology, manages to cling to both of her breasts. Simultaneously. Separately. That is, up the outside of one breast, down to her ribcage in between, and then back up the inside of the other. Linkara coined the term 'boob-sock' for this sort of thing while reviewing a Catwoman elseworlds, and there's really no better way to put it. These are boob-socks with a neckline and sleeves; actual shirts do not work this way!

One of these women can only be seen by people 18 and older with a valid credit card, and the 

other by any schoolkid with some pocket change.  Care to guess which is which?

And as for Honey Lemon?  Her tendency to go into battle wearing street clothes could almost, almost make sense, given her lack of powered armour and reliance on her deus ex machina-generating magic purse (yes, a woman with a magic purse). Except that towards the end Hiro, a total noncombatant, is given a lightly-armoured combat suit, that in no way restricts his movement and provides at least some small protection, right out of the blue. Making it clearly wasn't laborious, since a second, minor character gets a similar outfit (but she's a girl, so of course hers is pink) at the same time. So why hasn't Honey been wearing any kind of protection at all, why has she been fighting in a pair of incredibly low-cut skintight pants and a bra masquerading as a shirt, given that she's no more invulnerable than any other human on the planet?

Big Hero 6 was a pretty thorough disappointment. Despite a strong start, it just collapses into all of the worst excesses of modern comic books; non-Americans reduced to national stereotypes, attractive young women drawn in the skimpiest, most skin-tight, physics-defying clothing imaginable, a refusal to tie up loose ends and adequately resolve plot threads within a storyline, heroes who will fight each other at the drop of a hat, and superpowered individuals nonsensically sticking it to The Man by breaking the law and interfering with the police when it's completely unnecessary. I'm glad this was just a miniseries, because at least with a finite run there's a hard limit to the amount of fail you can work into it.